Ode to Hypocrisy
By the Comedy Central bigwigs
(and Tom Adkins)
Once, Comedy Central
Was a network that stood tall.
South Park was unleashed,
And man, did they have balls.
South Park lampooned big shots
And megastars who got fat.
They said a bunch of swear words
Man, we LOVE when they do that!
They attacked religion.
And politicians, too.
Heck, they bitch-slapped everyone!
In fact, we quite approved.
But suddenly, our braintrust
Has our panties tied in knots
They tweaked the Scientologists!
Those dirty little snots!
Sure, we let ‘em have fun,
And even throw some slime!
But don’t dare touch our sacred cows
Who buy commercial time!
Well, now that cow is mooing!
So we must fight the fight!
Censor Trey and Matthew!
Screw those First Amendment rights!
See, we don’t care ‘bout free speech
Since we owe allegiance to
Those Constitution shredders
At the great ACLU.
We have a higher calling
Not just mere money
We must fund our jihad:
Liberal hypocrisy.
Cause brown-nosing those liberals
Is the only chance we’ll see
A government that resembles
Ho Chi Minh City.
So when Jon Stewart rants and raves
And raises up a ruckess
You know he’s really puckering
To some producer’s tookis
So can’t they insult Born-Again’s?
Or make fun of the Jews?
Why be rude to brilliant minds
Like Travolta, Hayes and Cruise?
See, we’ll lampoon most anyone
But just beware of this:
When it comes to Hollywood,
We know whose butt to kiss.
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