The Aliens

Who will save us?

The aliens lurked behind the pile of dirt, deep in the shadows. They already killed without mercy. But this time, they were surrounded by an entire regiment of patient, heavily armed United States soldiers. The showdown between the American military and the aliens was imminent.

Uh, not illegal Mexicans here to wash dishes, silly. We’re talkin’ SPACE aliens. Martians, actually. You WISH the United States was this tough on illegal aliens.

Anyway, back to the story…

In less than 24 hours on Earth, the nasty visitors developed a poor human rights record, having vaporized three innocent drifters who tried to make friends. Yet Pastor Collins, enamored with the prospect of making friends with beings from another world, began rationalizing.

“They are living creatures out there…”

As the Colonel prepared for the full scale attack, The Pastor pondered, “No real attempt has been made to communicate with them, you know…”

Well, actually that first attempt resulted in a few guys turning into toast.

At dawn, an impressive metallic gizmo obviously from another world, dramatically rose up from the pit,.

While the Colonel and his staff peered out at the aliens, Pastor Collins quietly slipped out the back door. He apparently decided to form a one-man welcoming committee for the cranky visitors. Unafraid, he approached the machines with utter confidence in his race, religion and righteousness.

“Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…”

The machine noticed.

“My cup runneth over…”

The machine moved closer.

“I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever…”

The machine moved in.

“Amen! May the grace of the Father and of the Son…”

BRRRRRZZZZZZZZZTTTTT!!!!!

The death-ray screamed.

Well, as they say, “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust…”

For “War of the Worlds” movie buffs (the original, not the ponderous Spielberg version featuring that furniture-hopping, pompous jackass Tom Cruise), that scene is famous. It crystallized the battle between humans and Martians: human civilization itself is at stake. The aliens don’t have compassion. Humility. Pity. They just want to kill humans and take over the world.

Sound familiar? It should. This is exactly what’s at stake on planet Earth today. Millions of radical Muslim nutcases, with no pity, remorse or conscience are trying to take over the world. They landed on our shores, and have callously murdered on almost every continent.

Yet there are millions of Pastor Collins types, as the world’s liberals are too naïve, too callously political, too full of nationalistic bickering or too bluntly stupid to support an all-out war against this vicious, awful enemy. They really believe playing pattycake with nasty thugs will somehow get everyone to hug, bleating every verse of Kumbaya until we fall breathlessly into a big happy pile of sweaty humanity.

Such radiance was apparently on the mind of Jim Loney who, with four members of Christian Peacemaker Teams was captured by those misunderstood gents. Fortunately, they were freed from captivity last week by British fighting forces. Well, three were saved. The fourth, Tom Fox, was tortured and beaten to death, found in a pile of garbage a week earlier.

I guess someone forgot a verse.

Want better irony? A bunch of Christian Peacemaker Teams members are actually quite gay. Anyone know what the Muslim punishment for homosexuality might be? Death. So, these peace-lovin’ fools leapt into the hornets nest of crazed, fanatical Muslims bent on massive innocent civilian death, hoping the world loses will and withdraws, turning one more nation into a free-for-all playground for the worlds worst terrorists. Why did they do this? To undermine the people who are sacrificing their blood for freedom. Yet facing certain death if they dare speak of their sexuality, they stayed in the closet during their captivity.

Can stupidity get stupider? Oh, sure.

Right now, American workers, Hispanics and young kids are marching to help illegal immigrants sneak into America. Yet illegal immigrants drive wages lower, and snatch jobs away before the kids even graduate.

And then there’s the illegal aliens who want to kill us. Remember them?

Fortunately, in "War Of The Worlds," we do kill the aliens. Actually, “joims” killed the aliens, according to the Saturday Night Live “Brooklyn Academy of Fine Art” players. Of course, the aliens we face are indeed real. Their lack of humanity is certainly a fact. And their bad attitude is considerably evident. Except the “joims” actually don’t care. It’s up to us to win.

Or lose

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Written by Tom Adkins
CommonConservative.com
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