Get Out Now

What’s taking so long?

I’ve had a change of heart. After backing American efforts to defend our nation while bringing the sweet taste of liberty around the world, I must admit: we failed. Once again, we sent sons and daughters into harm's way, often without proper training, and asked them to perform impossible missions. I don’t even know the body count, although it’s high. And the dollar cost? Sheesh. I’ve lost track.

Have we achieved victory? I’m having serious doubts. After the brave sacrifices of our armed forces, I have yet to see the native people embrace democracy. Where are the greetings of flowers and open arms? Where is the freedom they were promised? Where is the gratitude? Where are the results?

Frankly, I question the President’s decisions, especially the intelligence failures, questionable tactics, and the immense military blunders. And after years of waiting, have you seen an exit strategy? I haven’t.

I used to think we should stay the course to victory. But now, I think it’s time to pull out. All of our troops. Send ‘em home.

That’s right. It is time for America to leave Germany.

And Belgium. And Spain. And France, the hygienically-challenged nation of smarm, leading the world only in gall, rudeness and cynicism. And while we’re at it, let’s pull out of Japan, Italy and anywhere else the American military is unappreciated.

Besides, why are American forces in these nations? Didn’t we win? Are we defending French cheese? German beer? Belgian chocolate? And who wants a Hyundai, anyway? These nations won’t even defend their own national treasures. Why should we?

But let’s reminisce about Germany. We gave over a half-million American lives and casualties to defeat Hitler, a socialist dictator (Nazi was the abbreviation for “National Socialist,” in case your public school teachers never told you) who left 50 million dead. In fact, at the end of World War II, underground Nazi die-hards led a bloody ten-year insurgency. American death toll: over a thousand.

Undaunted, Americans gave billions to rebuild German cities, never repaid. When the Soviets sealed off their cities, we flew in planeloads of anything they needed. Now, in the middle of World War IV (World War III, a.k.a. the Cold War, was won by Ronald Reagan of course, despite angry German protests), Americans need their support. Instead, they formed the aptly named “Axis of Weasels,” nations who, when faced with the greatest historic threat to freedom in a true world war, meekly capitulated. In fact, they accepted Hussein’s outright bribery. Meanwhile, German elections are usually won by whoever offers the most outrageous anti-American vitriol.

Thanks a lot, losers.

So I say we get out of Germany. Now.

Then, should we pull out of Iraq? Hell no. We should stay there and fight. Why? Because Iraqis have the perfect attitude about freedom. They want us to help hunt down the vermin who are murdering innocent civilians in a disgusting attempt to bring about a chaotic mix of dictator thuggery and bloodthirsty Islamic fundamentalism. Once they build forces and can deal with the problem themselves, they want us to leave. Fine. At least they’ll actually fight for their freedom, unlike the Germans. And that’s how it should be.

Winston Churchill once noted that appeasement meant hoping the alligator will eat you last. Thus, the future of Europe is laughably obvious. This collection of ungrateful snots squandered their freedom, heaped upon the shoals of socialism. In fact, they reverted to the exact same selfish behavior that got them into endless squabbles over the last century. Worse, they invited millions of Arabs into their miserable welfare states to perform menial tasks. Greeted with classic Euro-nationalist racism, contempt, empty promises and a 40% unemployment rate, Arab ghettos are restless. Last time I looked, European cities feature a new street light: The Flaming Citroen.

So let the world’s whiners have their way. Grab your ankles! Feed the alligators! I say we put together a timetable. Six months. A year. Whatever. After all, we never had a “exit strategy” for Germany. Or Japan, Or Korea. So here it is: See ya later!

And you know, we could probably balance the budget with the money we save.

I wonder when the Bat-phone will ring. “Herr President, in our time of need, we have a favor to ask. Could you send some Americans to die for us?” This time, let the phone ring. We’re too busy helping nations that actually give a damn about themselves.

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Written by Tom Adkins
CommonConservative.com
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