Dream the Impeachable Dream

Quit while you're behind

Did you know that there’s been a whisper around Washington that George W. Bush should be impeached? And that whisper is starting to get louder?

Neither did I.

I read a commentary piece from The Nation where this notion was advanced. I know what you’re saying: “A liberal publication coming out in favor of Bush’s impeachment? There’s a shocker!” (Well, either that or, “You can read?”) But the writer kept trying to hype the idea, saying the recent wiretapping controversy was illegal and, thus, we should be gathering the torches and pitchforks to storm the White House and bring Bush to justice.

After I read the piece, I had to laugh for two reasons. First, because someone told me a really funny joke when I was done. And second, because I kept imaging the scene from “Old School” where Will Farrell goes streaking and no one is following him, even though he thinks everyone’s streaking along with him. Regardless of your opinions on whether Bush is the anti-Christ or the second coming of Christ, the fact is most people don’t think Bush should be impeached for it.

Or do they? Two recent polls show a majority of Americans, 52% to be precise, believe Bush should be impeached over “Snoopgate” if there is proof that the wiretapping was illegal, and Democrats are saying this constitutes a mandate to remove Bush. Wait. George W. Bush wins 51% of the popular vote in 2004 and he doesn’t have a mandate according to these folks, but get 1% more on something they’re hoping to happen and they do?

So, who is right, the polls or your intrepid columnist? Conduct your own experiment. Go to where people congregate, like a coffee shop or a restaurant, and just listen to the casual chatter going on. I think you’ll find that most people aren’t thinking about impeachment or about anything else really except for what they want at that particular point in time. The collective attention span of most Americans today is shorter than an angry midget. (Okay, I apologize for that crack. It was insensitive and wrong of me to say “angry midget.” I will use the more politically correct term “happiness-challenged midget.”)

The funny thing about the lack of public support of impeachment is that the Democrats set themselves up for this. Back during the Clinton impeachment, Democrats told us that impeachment was a serious step, one that should not be taken lightly. We shouldn’t let the political opponents drum up bogus charges designed to besmirch the President and do what the opponents couldn’t do at the ballot box. And we believed it and didn’t support the Clinton impeachment, regardless of the legitimacy of the charges.

Now, that the roles are reversed and it’s the Democrats are trying to impeach a Republican President, the Democrats are acting exactly like the Republicans did with Clinton. This hits to what I believe is the heart of the big ball of apathy in this country today. The public sees the double standard the Democrats are employing and they’re tuning out. How many other scandals have Democrats said would bring down Bush? I’ve given up trying to count them because there are so many and because my neighbors wouldn’t let me use their fingers and toes to help me count. Something about having to go to work or me being a freak, I think.

Now, think back to the Republicans under Bill Clinton and how many scandals they tried to gin up to rise to the level of impeachment. Hel-LOOOOOOO! I know that those who don’t learn history are doomed to repeat it (usually during summer school), but to forget something that happened seven years ago? That’s ridiculous even by the standards of a culture that has Howie Mandel hosting a game show on prime time TV.

And here's the big thing. It's not going to change anything if Bush gets impeached. With Republicans controlling the House, Senate, and the White House, the line of succession is such that a Democrat would be in running for the Oval Office by the time Bush is moving out of the White House in January 2009. And that's only if they promise to help move in the next Republican President once Bush leaves.

I know Democrats are banking on a midterm election victory this year that would change the Congressional landscape, but there really isn't anything that makes people think Republicans deserve to be booted. Tom DeLay? DeLoser of an issue for Democrats. Abramoff? You'd need truck stop speed to keep people awake enough to pay attention. Lying about WMDs? If lying before Congress was an impeachable offense, you'd have trouble getting enough people to hold hearings because most of Congress would be impeached! And contrary to what DemocraticUnderground says, saying "Bush sucks" repeatedly is not a winning strategy.

So, to the Democrats out there thinking that a Bush impeachment is on the horizon, back away slowly from The Nation and don't make any sudden moves towards your telephone to call your Senators and Representatives. Impeaching Bush won't solve anything and will only serve to damage the party even worse than giving Howard Dean an open mic and unlimited access to Ted Kennedy's wetbar. Well, unless you decide to run Gore/Kerry '08.

And that's the Bottom Line.

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