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Why Democrats suck at war

It’s official. The Global War on Terror is over, thanks to Democrats. Did they agree to fund the war to its completion? Nope. They’ve done something even more impressive, something that will strike fear in the hearts of terrorists around the world.

They’ve removed all references of the Global War on Terror (or GWOT as it’s called) from official documents and from budget requests.

Their rationale is predictable: they didn’t want to offend Muslims and wanted to treat each new phase of combat in the global war on terror as a separate entity. Now, aren’t you happy Democrats are responsible for war funding?

I didn’t think so.

Whether it’s nonsense like removing “Global War on Terror” from government documents or insulting our troops while claiming they support the troops, modern Democrats seem to be more worthless when it comes to combat than the French. (Although seeing Tony Blair’s Neville Chamberlain impression when 15 British sailors and marines were held hostage by Iran recently may give France a run for their francs in that area.) It wasn’t always like this, though. Our history is full of Democrats who have taken up the burden of waging war against an enemy, but the loneliest people in the Democrat Party these days is the Democrat who understands what we really face today against the terrorists. There’s Joe Lieberman…and I think that’s pretty much it.

Maybe I’m being a little critical…okay, a lot critical, but I don’t get the vibe that the Democrats are capable of handling the responsibilities of waging a war they should be supporting if they want to keep the power they have. I feel like my dad when he let me drive our family car for the first time. And I’m happy to report that he’s finally getting the color back in his face. Geez. Drive down the wrong side of a busy highway right into the path of a speeding semi truck one time and you get branded as a bad driver. It’s time we explore why Democrats aren’t ready for the keys to the biggest war machine out there.

First, I don’t think they have the leaders to make a cogent case that they know what they’re doing. Whenever someone questions their ability to lead the military, Democrats trot out people like John Kerry and John Murtha. Sure, they’ve served and they do have a perspective that is unique to the situation, but it has to be pointed out that their military experience was with conventional wars that occurred more than a few years ago. Time and circumstances don’t favor these folks when it comes to plotting a better course for the war.

Not to mention, winning 3 Purple Hearts in 4 months on the job in Vietnam for Kerry? Either he’s padding his resume, he’s more unlucky than a eunuch at the Mustang Ranch when every woman in the joint is PMSing, or he wasn’t that good a military man. Granted, these aren’t mutually exclusive, but it doesn’t leave a good impression as to the competence of Democrats to wage war.

Second, the Democrats are too busy trying to put out fires within their own party. The anti-war movement got a lot of attention when President Bush was running for reelection, and the Democrats did nothing to put the brakes on the nutjobs like Cindy Sheehan and Code Pink. Now that Democrats control the House and have the Senate in name only, the anti-war folks are demanding that Democrats hold up their end of the bargain and end the war. Hey, Cindy and Code Pink? They’re politicians first. Of course they’re going to lie to you to get your votes! And they call Bush stupid?

But the Democrats brought this upon themselves by not addressing the anti-war fringe players early when they started to pop up like an insane Whack-A-Mole game with tie-dyed t-shirts. As a result, the Democrat Party is splintering like a balsa wood parch bench sat on by Michael Moore and Rosie O’Donnell. Tell you what. Once you get your personal stuff fixed, then maybe we’ll let you Democrats work on the military, okay?

Finally, Democrats keep backing the people we’re trying to beat. Look over who Democrats have supported over the past 30-40 years in armed conflicts. The Soviet Union over America, Pol Pot over the people of Cambodia, the Viet Cong over America, Andre the Giant over Hulk Hogan at Wrestlemania III. And now, they’re bending over backwards (or would it be forwards) for the Muslim terrorists. With a track record like that, I’d be leery of letting Democrats play Army, especially on my dime.

If the Democrats can overcome these and other shortcomings in their military expertise, I’d be sleeping a lot better at night. Of course, me drinking a few appletinis would do in a pinch, but it wouldn’t make the world any safer. And that’s ultimately what needs to happen. Democrats need to get it through their skulls that talking to people whose main goal is to kill us only accomplishes one thing: it gives them time to reload. This is not the time for rank amateurs with delusions of adequacy to tinker around with the war machine. Leave the amateurs where they can do the least amount of damage as they watch the military kill the enemy and break stuff.

Where is that? A sitcom on the CW.

And that’s the Bottom Line.

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