Dude, Where’s Your Substance?

Displaced priorities

America’s favorite atheist, Michael Newdow, is back in the news. Now, instead of trying to get “under God” removed from the Pledge of Allegiance, he’s suing the federal government to take “In God We Trust” off our money because, surprise surprise, he claims it violates the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment prohibiting the federal government from establishing a national religion.

This got my creative juices going. I thought long and hard about what I was going to write. I was already working up clever quips and cutting zingers that would mock Newdow and underscore the fact that the Establishment Clause doesn’t apply to money. But as I sat down to type, one thought caused me to stop writing and shut off my laptop.

Dude, it’s Michael Freaking Newdow!

This is not to say that the issue he raises isn’t worth discussing. I’m simply saying that he isn’t the best person to make the case for his side and, as such, we should not pay one iota of attention to him. He’s simply there to bring attention to himself at the expense of something important.

And from what I understand, Cindy Sheehan is looking for an attorney because Newdow is stealing her act.

People like Newdow, Sheehan, Ward Churchill, and others on the faux left are celebrities because of the media coverage surrounding them, but no one can really point to anything they’ve done to warrant the attention. They’re like Paris Hilton. No one knows what her job is, I mean aside from being an heiress and putting out a nasty sex tape that you can download off the Internet for $14.95 a month…or so I’ve heard. Yet, everyone knows Paris Hilton because she’s an instant celebrity. (And given her intellectual limitations, I’d say she share a lot more in common with Newdow, Sheehan, and Churchill than we realize.)

This condition isn’t limited to political or social issues. We’ve become a society of celebrity worshipers and mass media junkies at the expense of people and issues that should be at the forefront of our minds. Why talk about Able Danger when we can talk about Angelina Jolie? People can tell you every little detail about “Lost” but can’t name the three branches of government and what they do. And the war between the Palestinians and the Israelis? Not as sexy as the feud between Oprah Winfrey and David Letterman. Wow. I never thought I’d ever use the words “sexy” and “Oprah Winfrey” in the same sentence without having to bite my tongue, sober up, or wear a straitjacket.

We can quibble over how we went from serious-minded citizens to slack-jawed consumers, but we need to address why we do it and what can be done to fix it. As far as why, I think it’s because we’ve gotten intellectually lazy as a people. It’s hard work being up on current events. Trust me on this. And we don’t always get the results we want, which is a blow to our egos. So, why put forth the effort to stay informed? Instead, it’s far easier to let others stay informed and let us know what’s going on.

Now, multiply this attitude by a few million people. Welcome to Sloth American Style!

The way to prevent it from happening to you is to recognize that the easy way is not always the best way. Yes, I’m talking about doing your homework on issues and prioritizing them accordingly. Just because Jennifer Aniston says something does not mean we have to listen. Celebrities and people like Michael Newdow thrive on the attention we give them, so if we want to make a statement…ignore them!

Or you can do what I frequently do and mock them relentlessly. Sure, it’s giving them the attention they crave, but it’s not the kind of attention that they should want. After all, if you mock someone enough, the target of the mocking is not seen as credible to those who are only paying scant attention to the situation. Ask Dan Quayle about that.

Regardless of the tack you take, you will find that you can remove a lot of intellectual clutter from your life, thus you’re happier as a result and you can focus your time and energy on those things that matter most. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go to Blockbuster to rent the director’s cut of “Jason vs. Ernest.” After all, Ned Beatty and Pauly Shore both gave it rave reviews and their track record with movies is hard to deny.

And that’s the Bottom Line.

Archives of "The Bottom Line"

Send an e mail to Thomas Lindaman