"Married By America"

and other signs of cultural decay

by Patrick J. Shanahan
03/16/03

It is a question that every generation must deal with: at what point do we become convinced that our culture has gone to heck? In the 20s it was jazz, short skirts and the Charleston. In the 40s it was bobbie socks and Crooners. In the 50s it was the popularization of rock ‘n roll. In the 60s it was the hippie movement and "Laugh-In." In the 70s it was disco, leisure suits and "Three’s Company." In the 80s it was heavy metal “hair bands.” In the 90s it was - well, the Clinton Administration.

Oddly enough, none of these things spelled the end of American Culture. Each was, it its own way, just a different reflection of the restless yearning for generational uniqueness that has defined American culture for at least 100 years. One could argue that this is, in its own way, is the Achilles’ heel of American culture. This lack of permanence and endless quest for new almost must result in a shallow and unstable cultural landscape, in which newness becomes valued over goodness, but in which the overall balance of high culture and low culture stays roughly the same.

At least that’s what I used to think. Now that I have seen the new “reality TV” show "Married by America", I am convinced that our culture is doomed. We’re sunk, slowly but surely descending into a slimy sub-pit of fetid cultural garbage.

You might ask why, on the brink of war, I would stop to pay attention to reality TV. Aren’t there more important things out there to observe? Not really. We know we are going to go to war with Iraq and that we are going to win decisively. After that war is over we will still have our culture to deal with. Since our culture at some level reflects our national soul, we had better get a grip on what is going on.

The ancestor of all modern reality shows was "Candid Camera." Even as a child I was profoundly uncomfortable watching that show. The source of “humor” in "Candid Camera" was turning completely innocent people into unwitting idiots, and then mocking their foolishness. This seemed very mean to me, and completely at odds with the uplifting humor of shows like Dick Van Dyke or Andy Griffith.

The first of the modern reality shows was the Fox hit "Cops," in which the camera followed our men and women in blue as they attended to the daily business of dealing with assorted criminals and lowlifes in our midst. While this was (and is) a fascinating show, it left one with the slightly sleazy feeling of being where one ought not to be. Once again we were faced with the prospect of finding our entertainment in the misery of others (even if some of them completely deserved the misery they wallowed in).

Reality TV truly got a head of steam with the smash hit "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" This was a fun and wholesome show, but its success triggered a feeding frenzy in Hollywood. Soon came "Survivor," then "Fear Factor," then "Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire?" Then "American Idol," "Meet My Folks," and, most recently, "Married by America."

The hideous premise of this show is that a group of unmarried and presumably desperate male and female contestants present themselves to the show’s audience, who decide which couples “belong together.” The happy couples are then betrothed, sight unseen, and married. The sight of a couple of dozen twenty- and thirty-something singles who are so desperate for love or fleeting fame that they are willing to entrust their fate to the whims of a studio audience is downright creepy. Each should have a large “L” (for LOSER) stamped on his or her forehead. This, of course, presents us with the standard reality TV premise: our entertainment will not come from sharing the love, joy or fun that these couples find, it comes instead from ripping apart the weaknesses and shortcomings of the contestants. “Look at that guy. He’s pretty handsome. How come he’s not married? I’ll bet he’s either gay or a total jerk.”

We mock the losers, and we mock the “winners.” Those of us who are happily married bask in the glow of superiority over those poor suckers. Those who are single mock the desperation. And we all mock their shallowness, materialism and vapidity. We do these things because this is what the shows depends on. This is how entertainment has been recast. There are few things sadder than those who seek happiness through tearing down those around them rather than lifting themselves up. This, of course, has become an important aspect of the political landscape, and it now seems to be an important aspect of entertainment. We are at risk of becoming a nation of unpleasant gossips. And the scariest part is how seductive that is.

Even worse, the show implicitly mocks marriage itself. The institution of Holy Matrimony has had a tough go of it lately. Its cause is not being helped by marriage being given away as a cheap prize on a game show. This is a profound trivialization of marriage masquerading as a compliment. The premise of the show is that marriage is soooo important to these folks that they will do anything to acquire the married state. The reality is that they - at best - are all too happy to abdicate any sense of personal responsibility, to let the crowd pick for them. That way, they cannot be held responsible for the results.

I suppose there are cultural indicators that should scare us more that reality TV. Pornography, rap music, Peter Jennings, pro wrestling, the Backstreet Boys. These are all things worthy of concern. But none of them gets under my skin quite the way that Reality TV and particularly "Married by America" does. I can’t help but get feelings of an empire in decline, turning inward to feed on itself for entertainment.

What an irony it would be if history books recorded the first decade of the new millennium as the beginning of the end for America. A mighty nation that showed the world its external might and power in Iraq, only to begin the process of crumbling at home.Ultimately, our strength and vitality depend more on our culture than on our armed forces.